About me

Hi! I'm Chaplain Sarah. I work for a wonderful hospice organization in Central Texas. I am the chaplain and bereavement coordinator and love this work. I also teach death and dying at Baylor University and enjoy helping students to think through issues surrounding death and dying. I  went to Ouachita Baptist University and majored in speech communication. For grad school, I went to George W. Truett Theological Seminary at Baylor University. I did the spiritual formation track and am so thankful that I did. My clinical pastoral education started in 2010 at Hillcrest Hospital and I completed my last unit in 2016. I'm applying for board certification in 2017.

In my personal life, I LOVE spending time with my husband and four year old. We like hiking, kayaking, and being outside. I'm doing a yoga training certification in 2017 and hope to do grief yoga with my patients and their families.

Back to Blogging

Since my last post, I have been one busy chick. I'm working full time for SouthernCare Hospice and loving it. I'm a chaplain and get to do some bereavement work as well. I absolutely love being with people at the end of life. I'm going to start blogging more about what this looks like in my context. Stay tuned!

DIY Funerals?

http://www.sfbg.com/2013/10/29/reclaiming-death?page=0,0
http://commonhealth.wbur.org/2013/11/diy-death-natural-home-funerals
Just read the above articles and am fascinated by this idea. I can see how allowing a funeral home to care for a deceased love one could feel impersonal and unnatural but also can understand wanting professionals to do this kind of work. I am going to keep watching this trend. Have any of you experienced/witnessed/thought about this?

Getting ordained!

Yesterday was a powerful day in the life of this mommy/wife/student/chaplain. My church ordained three people and I was fortunate to be this group. Someone asked what my favorite part of the service was and I can say easily that it was when each candidate got to sit in a chair and get prayed for. I have prayed for hundreds of people in my short ministry and I can't tell you how refreshing and life-giving it is to have someone pray over ME! My husband took this picture - you can see the love in it!

I am so thankful for Kay Tuel, my chaplain buddy and friend who came from Belton to speak on my behalf. I'm also thankful for Pablo Rivas who is one of our favorite people. My son absolutely LOVES Pablo! He read my favorite verse yesterday - Romans 8:28. The service was beautiful and I am so grateful for all of my friends and family who came. I have been ministering in various capacities for a while now and didn't think ordination would change much. I think I was wrong. The PROCESS of ordination at my church was incredibly helpful. The team of people on the committee helped me discern my call and gifts plus areas I need to work on. Yesterday, my church family laid hands on me and prayed over my life and ministry. I will never be the same. Thank you Calvary Baptist for believing in this broken person. 

- Chaplin Sarah 

Chaplain Sarah's WHAT TO DO List!

We have all been there. A friend facebooks, texts, or calls to let you know her/his friend/sibling/parent etc has passed or is in critical condition. Most people say "I will pray for you" and leave it at that. Sometimes they say "call if you need anything." Both of these are nice in theory but not so helpful for someone in a crisis. Here is my short list that I have found helpful:

1) INSTEAD of saying 'call if you need anything', specifically say what you will do. Some of the things I have found very helpful for someone who has a family member on hospice are listed:

a) offer to call funeral homes and get prices

b) offer to mow the grass and clean the house

c) volunteer to get a meal train or care calendar set up for friends to bring meals

d) find someone (or be that someone) who stays at the home of the deceased during the funeral - this is the prime time for their house to be broken into. Criminals read the obituaries and know that no one will be home during a big funeral. My friend's dad offered to do this for us when my mom passed and I will never forget it. 

e) get a nice book and have everyone sign it that drops off a meal, flowers, or offers to help in any specific way (leave it at the front door with a pen attached)

2) ASK if you can put the need on our church's prayer list before doing it! Also, for goodness sake please ask WHAT they want prayer for. I can't tell you the amount of times I have sat with a family that was praying for their loved one to pass and not suffer any longer and a young pastor comes in the room and starts praying that the patient will be up and moving in no time at all. This isn't helpful. Pray for what they want. 

3) When the loved one dies, mark your calendar for 3 months, 6 months, 9 months and 1 year to remind yourself to send a note or text saying you are thinking about the family on this anniversary. ALSO, find out the important days and send notes. For example, if a family has a miscarriage, find out the due date and the date the baby passed. Send a card on the day the baby was supposed to be born (the family will be thinking about it all day) and then on the year anniversary of the baby's passing, send a card. NEVER underestimate the power of letting people know that YOU HAVE NOT forgotten their loss.  

4) GET OVER the feeling of awkwardness. People often feel uncomfortable talking about grief. I recommend asking your friend about their loved one. Most people do not want their loved one to be forgotten. Ask for funny stories or ask what they will miss the most. Don't be afraid of tears. When people cry, do NOT say 'oh don't cry!' We were designed to cry when we are hurting. Embrace the tears my friend. They are healthy. Some have asked me 'what if I start crying when my friend is talking?' - don't apologize. Your friend will never forget that you felt her/his pain, even if for a short time. 

5) EVERYONE grieves differently so take the 'should' word out of your vocab. Never say 'she SHOULD be crying at this point' or 'shouldn't she be over this by now?' Memorize the mantra that everyone grieves differently. 

Hope this helps! Go be a blessing people!
Chaplain Sarah

The West Crisis

The West Crisis has been taking up much of my time so I'm sorry for the delay in blogging. I have learned a few things about families in crisis:

• often they lose track of time and days
• previous losses (death of spouse etc) are relived
• animals provide comfort that sometimes humans just can't
• people are generally good 
• be careful not to get scammed - some people are not good

More on this soon.

Blogs you should read and the most interesting question

I got a massage today, compliments of a dear friend. The therapist asked about chaplaincy and said she wanted to know if family members can watch their loved one be cremated. WHY anyone would want to do this is beyond me but I said I would ask. I'll post the answer here when I find out!

Two resources for my chaplain buddies:
http://www.calebwilde.com/ - this guy is AWESOME - a theologian, funeral home director, adoptive daddy and 30 something guy

http://www.kateleong.com/ - This lady lost her son this week due to many illnesses and she writes about how the child life specialist told her other son about the death of his sibling. Powerful stuff but get tissues ready.

Thanks for joining me on this!